Come On In, The Water's Fine!

We spent last weekend in Austin visiting another part of my family.
I knew my  husband was in for a treat as we drove past a gigantic
billboard that read, "You can smell our pits from here!" (Well,
obviously it was for a barbecue joint! But I did do a quick stretch,
sniff, check to make sure my deodorant was working.)



So, we're going through all these crazy, hilly curves through the
backwoods of Wimberley and we drove past a FOR SALE BY
OWNER sign nailed to a fence post in front of a camouflage
colored SUV with no doors or windshield on it and a bright red
bench attached to the roof of it. Evidently, this hunter's vehicle
only needs to be disguised from the hood down. I guess to shock
the deer into wondering how these beer-drinking rednecks are
able to just float on a bright red bench above the forest floor at
which point they are blown to smithereens by a 30-odd-6 held
by one said floaters. We laughed as we drove by it and started
telling each other our favorite "you might be a redneck if" jokes.


We made it to my aunt's house and met her husband and greeted
my grandmother. The kids got to enjoy some country life as they
played in the stream behind her house and saw deer up close and
caught frogs and chased bugs and ran from snakes. Then my
cousin, Matthew, showed up with his son, some flowers, and a
bottle of wine. Now, drinking is a spectator sport for me and my
husband. But my cousin started pounding back red wine in an
iced tea glass. My aunt got about half a glass out of each bottle.
By around midnight, Matt disappeared. Out of fear of having to
drag him out of one of our beds, we set off to find him. He
wasn't anywhere to be found. "Oh, no!" laughed my aunt. "We're
going to find him in bed spooning with Momma!" As we hurried
toward her room, she came out shaking her head as she pushed
her walker down the hallway.

"Is Matt in there?" we asked her.

"Yes," she said. "He opened the door and scared the life outta me!
And he said, 'I'm going to sleep in here with you.' And I told him,
'Oh no, you're not!' And he just threw the pillow on top of my
shoes and started snoring before he hit the floor!" My aunt's
husband opened the door and sure enough. There he was sawing
logs with his head underneath my grandmother's portable toilet.
So, NATURALLY we photographed it!

After all, we are from the redneck gene pool. Come on
in. The water's fine.